Earlier than she was Debrina, she was Debbie.
In her city of Little Falls, N.J., Debbie Kawam was a lady individuals needed to be round: the cheerleader with the internal glow, dishing out high-fives within the hallways of Passaic Valley Regional Excessive College, cruising with pals, hanging a pose in opposition to a backdrop of Led Zeppelin posters, welcoming diners at Perkins Pancake Home in her hostess uniform.
Into her 20s, Ms. Kawam was the lifetime of the social gathering, flying off with girlfriends to Las Vegas and the Caribbean and dwelling within the second.
Later would come years of darkness, then many years. And on Dec. 22, Ms. Kawam was set afire on a subway practice in Brooklyn in an apparently random assault captured on harrowing video. For 9 days, the girl was nameless in loss of life. After her physique was recognized on Tuesday, the grieving might start.
Because the title she had adopted, Debrina, flashed throughout the information, classmates mustered reminiscences to blot out the indelible picture of a human determine outlined in flame.
“So candy and sort,” mentioned her onetime pancake-house colleague Diane Risoldi, 57, whom Ms. Kawam had helped get the job. “I can nonetheless see her within the black skirt and pink button-down. At all times smiling.”
“She appeared like a lady who was going to have every part,” mentioned Susan Fraser.
Ms. Kawam, 57, grew up in a small white home on a avenue dotted with modest single-family properties. Her father labored on the meeting line on the Basic Motors plant in Linden. Her mom labored in a bakery, mentioned Malcolm Fraser, Susan’s husband and a childhood buddy of Ms. Kawam. She had an older brother and sister.
Joe Rocco, who usually walked dwelling from college with Debbie, mentioned that at recess, youngsters used to ship kickballs flying in her route simply to have an excuse to be close to her.
Mark Monteyne, 57, was the captain of the Passaic Valley Hornets soccer group in 1984, which meant he had a cheerleader personally paired with him: Debbie Kawam. “She was actually that vibrant gentle,” he mentioned. Considered one of her duties was to brighten his locker for sport day. “Each sport there was one thing particular — balloons, stickers,” he remembered.
When Mr. Monteyne struggled in chemistry, Ms. Kawam shared her notes with him. “She was all the time serving to me attempt to go the category,” he mentioned.
After commencement, Ms. Kawam took lessons at Montclair State School just a few cities away, and Mr. Monteyne noticed her round campus the primary semester. However she quickly left, and so they misplaced contact earlier than he graduated.
Cindy Certosimo Bowie had identified Ms. Kawam since third grade. Of their 20s, they turned quick pals and journey companions.
“We went to Jamaica, Cancun, Bahamas, Las Vegas,” Ms. Bowie mentioned. “We’d go to golf equipment, lay out within the solar. Once we went dwelling we’d simply ebook one other journey. It was like a three-year stretch of going locations.”
Ms. Kawam was all the time working, although seldom too lengthy at anyone place, Ms. Bowie mentioned. “She type of did the job shuffle for some time,” mentioned Ms. Bowie, 56, who now manages a college cafeteria. Ms. Kawam labored on the headquarters of Sharp Electronics in Mahwah, amongst different jobs, Ms. Bowie recalled.
Ms. Bowie mentioned that generally Ms. Kawam was at odds together with her dad and mom. “She was all the time going in opposition to the grind; they mentioned white, she mentioned black,” Ms. Bowie mentioned. “Might have been the age.” Ms. Kawam’s household declined to be interviewed for this text.
However ultimately Ms. Bowie settled down, and she or he, too, misplaced contact together with her buddy.
Particulars of Ms. Kawam’s life after which might be more durable to seek out. In her 30s, she labored for a few years at Merck, the pharmaceutical firm, as a customer support consultant. Round 2000, she launched into a relationship with a person who labored for an electrical utility. They lived in a home by the Passaic River down the road from her childhood dwelling, in line with the person’s ex-wife. In 2003, Ms. Kawam legally modified her first title to Debrina.
The couple break up in 2008, across the time the home went into foreclosures. By then, Ms. Kawam had not labored for a while and had began having alcohol-fueled scrapes with the legislation. When she filed for chapter that yr, the entire of her belongings consisted of a Dodge Neon valued at $800, a tv and a futon price $300 and a few garments.
Years after the Kawam household dwelling in Little Falls was offered, Ms. Fraser and her husband mentioned they bumped into Ms. Kawam. She appeared “distraught and excessive on one thing,” mentioned Malcolm Fraser.
Ms. Kawam spent a lot of the final dozen years of her life within the southern a part of the state. She lived with a person in Toms River for a number of years. The person later married another person, and his widow mentioned that he had described his earlier relationship as chaos.
Ms. Kawam spent appreciable time in Atlantic Metropolis, about an hour south, and court docket data present a string of summonses for public ingesting from 2017 by way of final yr.
Ms. Kawam’s mom additionally lived in Toms River. A neighbor mentioned she didn’t know both lady, however somebody Ms. Kawam’s age would come and go from the home. The older lady would lead the youthful by the hand, as if she wanted assist getting round.
This previous fall, Ms. Kawam got here to New York, apparently with no place to remain. On Nov. 29, a homeless-outreach group encountered her at Grand Central Terminal. The subsequent day, she checked into an consumption shelter for ladies. Two days after that, she was assigned to a shelter within the Bronx. She by no means confirmed.
Early on the frigid morning of Dec. 22, as Ms. Kawam slept on a parked F practice on the finish of the road in Coney Island, a person approached her. With out a lot as a phrase, he flicked a lighter at her. The person, Sebastian Zapeta-Calil, 33, then watched as she burned, the police mentioned. He has been charged with homicide.
The information of Ms. Kawam’s descent and unspeakable loss of life left her classmates feeling devastated and empty and unfinished. “I truthfully didn’t know her demons, the backdrop of what was occurring,” mentioned Mr. Monteyne, the previous soccer participant. “If we solely knew.”
